Grandparents Are Important Too

Why Grandparents Are the Secret Weapon in Modern Parenting (And How to Team Up)

Have you ever felt like raising kids today requires a manual, a therapist, and three extra sets of hands?

If you raised your hand, you’re not alone. Parenting school-aged kids in today’s world means navigating screen time battles, high achievement pressure, and rising levels of youth anxiety. We often search for answers in parenting apps, online courses, or the latest self-help books.

But what if the missing piece to raising emotionally healthy, resilient children isn’t a new app—it’s the relationship right inside your extended family?

In a recent episode of The Impactful Parent, I sat down with Dr. Kenneth Barish, Clinical Professor of Psychology at Weill Cornell Medicine and author of The Art and Science of Parenting and Grandparenting: Raising Emotionally Healthy Children in a Challenging World.

We unpacked why the parent-grandparent partnership is one of the most powerful (and underused) resources we have—and how to turn family friction into a true parenting dream team.

1. The “Win-Win-Win” of Multigenerational Support

When grandparents step into an active, positive role in a child’s life, everybody wins:

• For Grandkids: They get unconditional enthusiasm, playfulness, and a sense of belonging.

• For Parents: You get much-needed time off, reducing daily stress so you can be more patient and present with your kids.

• For Grandparents: They get to relive the profound joy of watching a new generation grow.

Dr. Barish points out that while society has moved toward more solo-parenting dynamics, kids thrive when surrounded by a network of caring adults. Grandparents provide an anchor of emotional security when the outside world feels chaotic.

2. The Unique Psychological “Superpower” of Grandparents

Parents often ask: “What can a grandparent offer that I can’t already provide?”

According to Dr. Barish, grandparents possess a distinct psychological superpower: Awe and admiration.

Kids naturally look up to their grandparents. Unburdened by the daily grind of managing schedules, homework, and bedtime battles, grandparents can offer an emotional sanctuary where kids feel deeply seen, appreciated, and heard simply for who they are.

3. Consultant, Not Supervisor: Navigating the Rule Differences

One of the biggest friction points in extended families is differing parenting styles. Grandparents often feel the “rules” changed overnight, while parents feel judged or undermined.

To build a true team, Dr. Barish offers a clear framework for both generations:

• To Grandparents: Think of yourself as a consultant, not a supervisor. Offer advice when asked, but refrain from criticizing how your adult children raise their kids.

• To Parents: Give grandparents a little grace. It’s okay if Grandma gives an extra scoop of ice cream or stays up 15 minutes past bedtime. As long as health and safety boundaries are respected, a little leniency from a loving grandparent isn’t harmful—it’s part of the fun!

Host Tip: Focus on concerns, not opinions. Instead of arguing over “my way vs. your way,” discuss shared concerns (e.g., “I’m worried about screen time during dinner”). When you focus on a shared goal, finding common ground becomes much easier.

4. The Power of Pure Play & Family Stories

If a grandparent asks, “How can I connect better with my grandkids?”—the answer is delightfully simple: Play with them with enthusiasm.

Whether it’s a 30-minute board game, building Lego towers, or a lightsaber duel in the living room, play sparks curiosity and builds trust.

As kids grow older, that connection transitions into storytelling. Children love hearing personal stories about when their parents or grandparents were young. Sharing stories of how you overcame adversity builds deep resilience in kids, helping them realize that challenges are a normal part of life.

5. The 5-Minute Lifelong Ritual

To wrap up our conversation, I asked Dr. Barish for one simple daily or weekly ritual that any family can start today to strengthen bonds for a lifetime.

His answer? Tell your children (and grandchildren) that you are proud of them.

Not just praise for getting an “A” or scoring a goal—but expressing pride in who they are as a person. Saying, “I am so proud of your kindness today” or “I’m proud of how hard you tried” builds an emotional foundation that stays with a child well into adulthood.

Ready to Dive Deeper?

Raising emotionally healthy kids takes a village, and bringing grandparents into the fold is one of the greatest gifts we can offer our children.

🎧 Catch the full episode of The Impactful Parent podcast featuring Dr. Kenneth Barish! Watch on YouTube or listen on your favorite podcast platform to hear all of Dr. Barish’s practical strategies for modern families.

📱 Don’t forget to visit theimpactfulparent.com to download the free Impactful Parent App for more weekly parenting tips designed to turn chaos into connection!