How To Identify A Toxic Relationship

How To Identify A Toxic Relationship

How To Identify A Toxic Relationship

After my divorce was, I was at an all-time low in my life.  I was a mess.  I felt rejected, unlovable, and I was entirely out of my mind with crazy.  I did not know how to handle the ten thousand emotions rushing through my veins.  The result was a “Jekyll and Hyde” Kristina. One day I was responsible and put together; the next day, I was careless and stupid.

Then I met this woman at a Meetup.  I was desperate for friends.  When you go through a divorce, people feel the need to pick sides, and I was losing relationships that I have had for years with each passing day.  Losing those friends did not bother me, but I felt I needed new friends to take their place and let us just say- making friends as an adult is difficult.  That is why I was there at that Meetup.  I was looking for friends.

This woman and I made a connection immediately.  She had recently divorced also.  Her ex-husband seemed to be like my ex-husband.  We bonded over a familiar pain in our hearts.  The saying that “misery likes company” is correct. No one wants to go through the pain alone.  It feels good to know that someone understands you and can relate.

By human nature, we naturally gravitate to people who we perceive are “like-us.” People with similar interests, similar experiences, and similar points of view.  One of humanity’s primary needs is to feel accepted, and people who are like us are quick to welcome us.

But there was a problem.  With time, my relationship with this friend turned toxic.  We became our own pity party.  We fueled each other’s negative behaviors and thoughts.  If I was down in the dumps and started a rant session- my friend was quick to say, “Yeah! That is right.  You did not deserve that happening to you. You have the right to be mad.”  Or if I partake in careless behaviors, my friend was quick to justify my actions and tell me that it was ok.

Friends that support you are great, but there comes the point when we need the people we surround ourselves with to lift us up and help us achieve more, get out of our funk, and better ourselves.  After a while, I did not need someone to justify my destructive behaviors and make me feel better.  I needed someone to help me move forward.

Unfortunately, most individuals struggling with a toxic relationship cannot recognize the toxicity when actively engaged in the relationship.  It took her to do an unthinkable act of betrayal for me to see her for who she was and realize that I was in a toxic relationship for anything to change.

I do not want you to go through what I went through.  Friendships are essential for parents.  We need people we can trust as we go through our parenting journey because parenthood is challenging.  We need a support system.  Right now, I have accepting enrollment for the Super Mom Support Squad.  This mom’s group that is a small group parent coaching experience was made to encourage parent to parent friendships.  As I said, it is difficult to meet new people and make new friends as an adult.  Sometimes we need a vehicle to help- and that is precisely what this program does.  It connects moms.

I hope that you do not find yourself in a toxic relationship. Still, if you think you might be in one- I have created a FREE PDF to help you identify toxic relationship warning signs.   This free PDF can be found at https://theimpactfulparent.com/toxic.  You will find 21 different warning signs that you might be in a toxic relationship on your FREE PDF.

Your child needs this guidance too. Knowing what good relationships look like is not intuitive. Kids learn about healthy relationships in 3 ways.

1. Your child watches you and your relationships.  This is why you must analyze your own friendships and love interests and make good choices.  Your child is learning from you, and more often than not- children will grow to model the relationships they see in their home.
2. Children learn from their own trial and error of life experiences. This is also where the FREE PDF I am giving you today can come in handy.  Teach your child the 21 warning signs of a toxic relationship.  Teach them how to identify when a friend may not have their best interest at heart.   These lessons can be done early.  I suggest starting this conversation when they enter school. Read the PDF with your child and start a conversation about some of the people in their life.  By teaching your child about healthy relationships early on in their life- you can be preventing them from heartache in their future.
3. Media influences the young mind; there is no doubt about it. Everything from Disney princesses to YouTube videos and all the media in between influences your child. Be aware of the messages that the media is giving.  For example, Arial gives up her life and her family under the sea for her life with Prince Eric.  I am not saying that this message is bad.  I am saying that as parents, we need to be aware of the messages the media is speaking to our children.  If we are aware, we can start a conversation with our kids and make them aware of media influences also.

Relationships can be a person’s most significant assets in life.  We need them.  Let us just make sure that our children and we have good relationships we can be proud of.

Download the PDF.  Start the conversation.  And I hope you consider joining The Super Mom Support Squad.

Follow The Impactful Parent for more FREE tips and resources. Real advice. Real issues. Period. @theimpactfulparent Helping parents of school-age children.

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Follow The Impactful Parent for more FREE tips and resources. Real advice. Real issues. Period. @theimpactfulparent Helping parents of school-age children.