Unlocking Success: Lessons Every Parent Should Teach

You are a parent who wants your child to be highly successful someday!

I know. I get it. I am a mom of 4, too, and from the moment you find out you’re pregnant, you suddenly have aspirations and dreams for this child. It doesn’t matter if you hope they become a self-made millionaire, a “change-the-world” humanitarian, or simply a good person someday-  you have a blanket of responsibility hanging over your shoulders to make this person you created SUCCESSFUL.

But how do we do that?

Hello, my name is Kristina Campos. I am the founder of the Impactful Parent. Every week, I give you parenting videos to help your parenting journey. If you have a particular topic or parenting question about your school-aged child that you would like me to address, please submit it at [email protected] or by messaging me on social media. All submissions are kept anonymous. 

Today’s episode is about raising successful children. I have the secret sauce formula for unlocking your child’s fullest potential. There are 8 essential lessons every parent should instill in their children to grow an amazing young adult someday and I will tell you how to best to teach these lessons. I am excited you are here today, so let’s get started!

 

UNLOCKING SUCCESS IN YOUR CHILD #1: Tolerance

Why Teaching Tolerance is Important:

Teaching tolerance to children is more important than ever in today’s diverse world. Unlike in the past, technology has created a world where we are indeed interconnected and forced to work with one another. Your child can’t escape this. By nurturing a mindset of empathy and acceptance, parents can equip their children with the tools to navigate through a globalized society and foster harmonious relationships with people from different backgrounds and beliefs. Tolerance, empathy, and acceptance then build stronger communities. It promotes inclusivity and breaks down barriers. When children embrace tolerance, they are less likely to make snap judgments or hold prejudiced views, leading to a more equitable society.

How to Teach Tolerance:

• Be an Example: Parents should model tolerant behavior through their words, actions, and interactions with people from different backgrounds. So much of tolerance is LEARNED behaviors. Young children are not influenced by skin color, economic status, or religion. These are learned prejudices that we can inherit from family.
  • Also, consider how you treat the people you live with. How tolerant you are of the people you love the most: your family and significant other. These are the people we tend to treat the worst. These are the people who see our bad side. If you aren’t tolerant of your husband or wife, you are still teaching your child that tolerance is conditional.
• Encourage Diversity: Expose children to diverse cultures, traditions, and perspectives through books, movies, travel, and engaging in community events.
• Promote Dialogue: Encourage open conversations about differences and similarities and provide context to help children understand and respect various identities and perspectives.
• Teach Empathy: Develop activities that help children put themselves in others’ shoes, fostering compassion and understanding.
• Emphasize Acceptance: Highlight the importance of accepting others for who they are, irrespective of their differences, and discourage judgmental behavior.

 

UNLOCKING SUCCESS IN YOUR CHILD #2: Responsibility

Why Teaching Responsibility is Important:

Teaching responsibility to kids builds their work ethic. This can lead to better academic performance and develop independence. It teaches self-reliance and allows children to own their actions and decisions, increasing confidence and self-esteem. Teaching responsibility also encourages accountability. Responsible kids own up to their mistakes and make amends when necessary.

And most importantly, teaching kids responsibility helps children have stronger relationships. Responsible behavior helps children build trust with others. These kids learn to follow through on commitments, be reliable, and develop stronger relationships with peers, teachers, and future employers.

How to Teach Responsibility:

• Setting expectations: Clearly define what responsibilities your child is expected to handle. This could include chores, homework, personal hygiene, or other age-appropriate tasks. Research suggests that kids with chores possess a more significant feeling of responsibility.
• Set limits and boundaries on what YOU will do for your child. If your child has the cognitive ability to do their laundry- then let them. If they can only sort out the colors from the whites, let them. At some point, you must say- I am not doing this for you anymore. You are old enough now to do for yourself.   Setting limits and boundaries teaches your child how to behave, teaches values, and shows them new expectations, and you are inadvertently telling your child that you trust them. You allow them to grow up instead of stifling their growth by doing everything for them. 
• Modeling responsible behavior: Children often learn by observing their parents. Be a positive role model by fulfilling your responsibilities and demonstrating responsible behavior in various aspects of life.
• Providing guidance and support: Begin by breaking tasks into small, manageable steps and offering guidance. Gradually reduce your involvement as your child becomes more competent and comfortable handling responsibilities.
• Creating routines and schedules: Establishing predictable routines and schedules can help children develop a sense of responsibility. These routines can include daily tasks like making the bed, meal planning and completing homework.
• Allowing natural consequences: When appropriate, allow children to experience the natural consequences of their actions. This helps them learn responsibility by understanding the cause-and-effect relationship between their choices and the outcomes.
• Offering rewards and incentives: Consider using a system of rewards or incentives to reinforce responsible behavior. This can be in praise, privileges, or small rewards that motivate children to fulfill their responsibilities.

UNLOCKING SUCCESS IN YOUR CHILD #3: Self-Control

Why Teaching Self-Control is Important:

Developing self-control skills helps children manage their emotions, make better decisions, build positive relationships, and achieve long-term goals. Emotional regulation is imperative for future success. You must control your temper, your tears, and even your bragging to succeed in today’s world. Control over your emotions prevents a person from reacting impulsively or engaging in tantrums or aggressive behavior. This leads to better decision-making also. Self-control enables children to pause and think before making decisions. It helps them consider the consequences of their actions and make choices that align with their long-term goals, such as resisting immediate gratification to save money instead of spending it all. Self-control will also lead to building positive relationships. Children with self-control can listen attentively, take turns, and consider others’ perspectives. They are more likely to resolve conflicts peacefully and show empathy towards others.

How to Teach Self-Control:

• Model self-control: Parents should lead by example and demonstrate self-control. Children often imitate their parents, so showing emotional regulation and making deliberate decisions can teach children how to do the same.
• Provide guidance and boundaries: Establish clear expectations and boundaries regarding behavior. This gives children a framework to understand what is acceptable and helps them practice self-control.
• Encourage verbal expression: Encourage children to express their emotions through words rather than actions. Teach them to identify and label their feelings, which can help regulate their emotions and avoid impulsive behavior.
• Teach and practice these coping skills when children are calm so they are more prepared to use them when emotions run high. https://theimpactfulparent.com/20waystocope
• Use positive reinforcement: Reward and acknowledge instances where children demonstrate self-control. Positive reinforcement reinforces desirable behaviors, whether praise, small rewards, or privileges.
• Teach problem-solving techniques: Help children develop problem-solving skills by teaching them techniques such as counting to ten, taking deep breaths, or finding alternative solutions. This empowers them to manage their emotions and find constructive ways to handle challenges.
• Practice patience: Engage in activities that promote delayed gratification, such as playing board games or completing puzzles. Children can develop self-control skills by encouraging patience and waiting for their turn.

Suppose you have a very unregulated child who tends to have outbursts out of nowhere. In that case, I have a more comprehensive solution for you. Children with anger management struggles or anxiety attacks may need extra love, time, and strategies. I encourage you to look at my Behavior Management Program, where I take parents step by step to help their child learn self-control for their big emotions. This can be found for FREE inside the Impactful Parent App.

UNLOCKING SUCCESS IN YOUR CHILD #4: Integrity

Why Teaching Integrity is Important:

Teaching children about integrity is crucial because it helps them to become responsible and trustworthy individuals who can make ethical decisions.

Integrity helps children to build trust among people. It enables them to stick to their words and commitments, resulting in others trusting and believing what they say. Children learn to be responsible for their words, actions, and behaviors. Children with integrity are also more prone to making ethical decisions. It enables children to recognize the right and wrong, prompting them to make the correct decision, even when no one is looking.

How to Teach Integrity:

• Setting a good example is one of the best ways to teach integrity. Parents must show their children how to behave with honesty and integrity.
• Ensure that children take responsibility for their actions. Allow consequences to arise when necessary. The key to this is to use natural consequences as much as possible. Do not overprotect your child from their choices. And lastly, do not overreact when children get into trouble. Parents who scream, yell, and administer punishments too harsh for their child create an environment where the child is afraid to admit they did something wrong.
• Praise their truthful and honest behavior, emphasizing the importance of these values. The best way to get a child to stop lying is to make your child feel like they don’t have to lie.
• Encourage children to admit their mistakes and take responsibility for correcting them. Teach your child that there is always a choice and sometimes the most challenging choices are the right ones. Take advantage of teachable moments when you can be naughty or take the high road.
• Challenge children to think critically about their values and the person they want to be. Express high expectations for your child. This often can become a self-fulfilling prophecy because children want to live up to their parent’s expectations. Please encourage your child and tell them you believe in their choices and decisions.

UNLOCKING SUCCESS IN YOUR CHILD #5: Perseverance

Why Teaching Perseverance is Important:

Perseverance teaches children to bounce back from setbacks and failures and develop the resilience to face future challenges. Building resiliency isn’t easy for parents because children will need to experience the lows of life to understand that they can overcome those lows and persevere. It is difficult for most parents to see their child sad, upset, and fail. However, parents can help children develop a growth mindset, emphasizing that their abilities and intelligence can be developed through effort and hard work. This lesson can only be taught when the child is in some struggle. By teaching perseverance, children will develop problem-solving skills, foster a sense of purpose, learn the value of grit, find creative solutions, and learn from mistakes. 

How to Teach Perseverance:

• Allow your child to make bad decisions that won’t hurt themselves or others too much. Don’t overprotect your child and allow them to make mistakes. Be the encouragement and support your child needs to pick themselves up, fight, and try again.
• Encouraging goal setting. Break tasks into smaller, more manageable pieces so kids can succeed.
• Brainstorm solutions when your child gets frustrated and stuck. Helping your child get “unstuck” is terrific if the parent does not do the work for the child.
• Be a role model. You can inspire and teach your children to do the same by demonstrating perseverance in your own life.
• Praise effort, improvement, and resilience rather than focusing solely on outcomes. Emphasize that success takes time and effort. The focus of the parent should be the journey, the lesson learned, or the effort taken. It should not be the end result, like winning or the A+.
• Set realistic challenges: Provide children with age-appropriate challenges that require effort and perseverance to overcome. Gradually start with easier challenges and increase the difficulty over time. For example, encourage your child to learn a skill like swimming or riding a bike. This kind of activity requires a child to fail until they know.
• Teach problem-solving skills. Help children develop problem-solving skills by encouraging them to think critically, analyze situations, brainstorm ideas, and find solutions.
• Celebrate small victories. Recognize and celebrate your child’s achievements and efforts regardless of the outcome. This helps reinforce the importance of perseverance and motivates them to keep trying.

UNLOCKING SUCCESS IN YOUR CHILD #6: Gratitude

Why Teaching Gratitude is Important:

Parents need to teach gratitude to children because it helps them develop a positive attitude. Teaching children to be grateful allows them to recognize and value what they have in life, such as a loving family, good health, and access to education. This appreciation builds contentment and prevents the development of a sense of entitlement. Gratitude helps shift the focus from wanting more things to appreciating life’s simple pleasures. Teaching gratitude also helps develop empathy. Gratitude teaches children to recognize the efforts and kindness of others. It helps them see beyond themselves and understand the importance of gratitude towards people who contribute to their lives, such as friends, teachers, or community members.

How to Teach Gratitude:

• Lead by example. Parents should model gratitude in their daily lives by expressing appreciation for the efforts and kindness shown to them. Children observe and learn from what they see their parents do.
• Encourage thankfulness. Encourage children to express gratitude regularly by saying “thank you” when someone does something kind or helpful. Prompt them to recognize the positive aspects of their lives and express appreciation for them.
• Create gratitude rituals. Establish practices like keeping a gratitude journal, where children can write down things they are grateful for daily. This creates a habit of focusing on the positive aspects of their lives. I recommend the following gratitude journals for teenagers: https://amzn.to/3ZfRboY  https://amzn.to/3r9UscZ
• Engage in volunteer work. Encourage children to actively participate in community service or volunteer activities. By helping others, children learn to appreciate their privileges and develop empathy towards others.
• Travel. Allow your child to experience places and people who have less. Reflect on these experiences.
• Encourage interactions with the elderly.
• Go places where the luxuries of life are taken away for a short time. Go camping or to areas that don’t have the best Wi-Fi, food, or amenities.
• For more help with this, check out the video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qivRosVOQ_c

 

UNLOCKING SUCCESS IN YOUR CHILD #7: Life Skills

Why Teaching Life Skills is Important:

Life skills foster independence and self-reliance. Life skills also promote problem-solving and decision-making skills. Life skills empower children to think critically and make informed decisions. And finally, life skills are important for children to develop a sense of responsibility and achieve their objectives.

How to Teach Life Skills:

• Allow children to take the lead in easy or moderately difficult tasks.
• Parents can teach problem-solving and decision-making skills by involving children in decision-making processes at home, encouraging them to evaluate options, and guiding them through the consequences of their choices.
• Parents can teach these skills by helping children prioritize tasks, set achievable goals, and monitor their progress.
• Parents should demonstrate desirable life skills through their own actions and behaviors.
• Allow your child to have hands-on experience as much as possible. For example, involving them in household chores, budgeting, or decision-making processes can provide practical experiences to develop these skills.

Wondering which life skills to teach? I got you! Below is a link to a free PDF that encompasses the most useful life skills parents can start with. https://theimpactfulparent.com/50things

UNLOCKING SUCCESS IN YOUR CHILD #8: Forgiveness

Why Teaching Forgiveness is Important:

 Parents need to teach children forgiveness because it helps their overall emotional and psychological development. Teaching forgiveness helps children develop empathy and compassion towards others. It allows them to recognize that people make mistakes and can change. Forgiveness is also essential for maintaining healthy relationships. Parents empower children to resolve conflicts and maintain positive connections with others by teaching them how to forgive. Holding onto grudges and resentment can be emotionally damaging. Parents help children let go of negative emotions and promote their emotional well-being by teaching them forgiveness.

Lastly, life is full of disappointments and conflicts. Teaching children forgiveness equips them with the resilience to bounce back from negative experiences and move forward without being burdened by past events.

How to Teach Forgiveness:

• Parents should demonstrate forgiveness in their own actions and behavior. Children who see their parents forgiving others are more likely to learn and adopt the same behavior.
• Encourage open communication. Parents should create an environment where children feel safe expressing their emotions and conflicts. By encouraging open communication, parents can guide children towards forgiveness and resolution.
• Teach empathy and perspective-taking. Help children understand the emotions and perspectives of others by taking advantage of teachable moments. By encouraging empathy, parents can enhance a child’s ability to forgive.
• Teach children how to communicate their needs and address conflicts constructively. By empowering children to find solutions, parents promote forgiveness to resolve problems.
• Teach children how to make genuine, heartfelt apologies. Too many times, parents only teach children to say “empty” sorries. Instead, teach kids how to make an authentic apology that means something. For help with this, check out this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-SFN8fBZhY
• Practice gratitude and appreciation. Encourage children to focus on the positive aspects of their relationships and express gratitude. This helps shift their focus from negativity and makes forgiveness easier.

 

Raising successful children is a long process that takes time and intentional effort by parents. These 8 skills should be top of mind for anyone who wants to raise an independent, kind, and self-driven human.

If this information was valuable for you today, BECOME a more impactful parent by downloading The Impactful Parent App. The Impactful Parent app is FREE and full of episodes like this one to help you in your parenting journey. Investing in your family looks like learning the warning signs of certain behaviors so you can stop bad things before they start, discovering new parenting techniques to make your parenting more effective, and joining a community of like-minded parents who want to be the best parents they can for their child. All of this, plus so much more, can be found inside The Impactful Parent app, so download it today. You have nothing to lose with this free parenting resource. Go to theimpactfulparent.com and discover how to step up your parenting game and be more impactful.

 But until next time, you got this, parents. I am just here to help.