Why is it so difficult to trust my child?
How am I going to trust my teen to take care of their car in college if they won’t even remember to put in gas today? How can I trust my child to make good food choices if they won’t eat anything the color green? How am I going to trust my child with money if all they do is spend without thought? Trusting our kids can be difficult if their behavior seems not to be trust-worthy. However, where does our lack of trust come from?
For me, most of my trust issues come from a place of fear. Yep, I am scared. I love my kids so much that I am terrified. I don’t want anything bad to happen to them. I don’t want them to fail. I don’t want them to get hurt. I don’t want them to feel pain. I want to keep all the bad in the world away from my children so that they can be happy. Doesn’t sound very realistic, does it? I can’t keep away all the bad. Honestly, I shouldn’t even try. What kind of kid would I be growing? Likely, one that at age 19 will not be prepared for the world.
Most of my trust issues come down to one thing- I don’t trust my children to make the right choices for themselves. What! Even saying it aloud sounds ridiculous to me! Children need to learn how to make their own decisions. So how do I let go of fear and allow my children to face the consequences of their own choices? There is no easy answer to this. Everyone is going to deal with their fears differently- but I write this blog today so that some of you (who are like me) might have a light bulb moment and realize where their lack of trust stems. Are you worried that your child will make the same mistakes you did? Are you afraid that they can’t make a good choice for themselves? Think about that. It isn’t fair. You’re not even giving your child a chance to live and learn. So, instead of dismissing the next opportunity, you have to trust your kids- seize that moment. It will be challenging to trust, but if you know that your lack of trust is not your child’s issue, but instead fears you may be trying to avoid, then we can work on facing our fears and trusting our kids. 
Yoda, one of the great fictional masterminds of our time, once said, “Fear is the path to the dark side.” Yoda also says, “Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose.” Ok, so that is a little corny, but consider, if we train ourselves to let go of things we fear, wouldn’t we be happier? Wouldn’t we trust our kids more, and wouldn’t they learn more from their experiences than from our sheltering? It’s not easy, but I am working on letting go of things I fear because let’s face it, parenthood is full of scary. There are other things to fill up my worry jar. I am working on letting go of the small fears first, and then I will progress to bigger stuff. I hope you join me in letting go and choosing to trust.
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