Emotional Self Regulation: Controlling YOUR emotions to be a better parent

Kristina:  Welcome impactful parents. Today we are going to talk about how to balance yourself emotionally as a parent.

Hello, my name is Kristina Campos. I’m the founder of The Impactful Parent. Today we have a special guest Cristina Moise. Cristina is the founder of Refresh Your Mind. She guides parents to overcome anxiety and become emotionally balanced to be better parents. Thank you for being here, Cristina.

Cristina: Thank you.

Kristina: Parenting is full of overwhelm! I feel like I’m overwhelmed about 90% of my day! So how can parents manage the overwhelm in their life?

Emotional Self Regulation

Cristina: My first suggestion is to take time for yourself. I know this is difficult.  I also suggest you write down everything you think you need to do.  What you will notice is, as you reflect on your to-do list, things will become clear. The list will look manageable, or you will find things you can cross off and do later.  You can also prioritize items and others you can put at the bottom of the list.  

Next, examine the list and consider items you can delegate to others. Don’t be afraid to ask for help or support.

Kristina: Parents should delegate tasks to their children. For example, if your child is old enough to do laundry. Then have them do their own laundry. Period.  If they aren’t old enough yet, then parents should be teaching their children to do laundry. Small children love to be helpers, and I teach my kids from a very young age to help me fold clothes and separate clothes by color.  

Another emotion common amongst parents is anxiety.  What are some tips for overcoming anxiety?

Cristina: Anxiety is nothing more than fear about the future. Ask yourself, what is the successful outcome that I want? Imagining a success-based scenario is what will help you through the anxious times. Our projections about the future are very much based on our experiences from the past. To overcome our bad past experiences, parents need to have several good counteracting good experiences and a mindset shift focusing on the positive.

Emotional Self Regulation

Kristina: Children have a special knack for pushing our buttons. They trigger our emotions and bring up our unresolved feelings from our past.

Cristina: Yes! Children remind us that there’s something that needs to change. There is some unresolved business or emotions from our past that is not fully released and need attention. To be honest, I thought that parenting was all about educating our children.  I was wrong.  Instead, children teach the parents more about themselves. Parenting forces many people to readdress their past feelings and get closure so they can move forward.

Kristina: I couldn’t agree more. There is nothing like parenting, to bring up all the stuff from your past that you didn’t even know bothered you. Give yourself grace. Everybody has things that they’re going to have to deal with.  Good parents will reexamine those deep-seated emotions and grow from their experiences.  Each generation, hopefully, gets more perspective and improves themselves.

Emotional Self Regulation

Cristina: Parents naturally want to ignore or suppress the negative emotions that parenting will drag up.  This is natural, but we have to resist surpassing the emotions. Instead, we need to deal with those emotions to release them.  Negative emotions are actually good.  Yes, they are uncomfortable, but the truth is, we will get the biggest growth and the biggest learnings from these emotions. Uncomfortable negative emotions are like someone knocking on your door. It is something saying to you that something requires your attention. Let go of your negative emotions from your past. Many learnings, new information, and new perspectives about yourself can develop from addressing the root of your emotions.

Kristina:  Thank you for talking with me, Cristina.  Parents need to self-examine their emotions and curate some self-love.  Too often, parents only focus on the children and keeping the children happy. Still, it is just as important to care for ourselves, so we can be better parents.

And if anyone in the audience wants to become a more impactful parent, check out my website. I have parenting courses, family coaching, 30-day challenges, and lots of free resources for you and your school-aged child. But until next time, you got this, parents. I am just here to help.